You have probably heard the term narcissism used in the framework of business, specifically  in the context of an individual being controlling or not being empathetic. You might have heard people or even yourself saying “my boss is a narcissist” or “she’s a real narcissist”or “I can’t deal with his narcissistic behaviour!” Narcissism is real and is surfacing in the workplace more now than ever.

What is narcissism?

The professional term for narcissism is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). “NPD is a mental health condition where an individual have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. They may also have troubled relationships and struggle with their self-esteem” (ref. Mayo Clinic). 

Often narcissism is coupled with someone who is focussed on self, has lack of empathy for others, is ambitious, has a desire for recognition or just being overconfident. This type of person is not necessarily a narcissist.  

Very much like most mental health conditions, narcissism exists on a spectrum, from normal personality traits to a diagnosable mental health condition. Below is an indication of how the Mayo Clinic defines narcissism. 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

A Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a clinical diagnosis listed in the DSM-5 (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition). Individuals who are diagnosed with NPD generally display the following symptoms. They: 

• Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration.
• Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment.
• Expect to be recognised as superior even without achievements.
• Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are.
• Are preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate.
• Believe they are superior to others and can only spend time with or be understood by equally special people.
• Are critical of and look down on people they feel are not important.
• Expect special favours and expect other people to do what they want without questioning them.
• Take advantage of others to get what they want.
• Have an inability or unwillingness to recognise the needs and feelings of others.
• Are envious of others and believe others envy them.
• Behave in an arrogant way, brag a lot and come across as conceited.
• Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office.Typically leads to problems in relationships and work.

There may be many types of narcissists that you encounter in your life, sometimes without you even knowing. If there is a narcissist in your life and you do not know how to be with this person, the first step would be to ask them to seek professional help. You can’t help them to change and you can’t save them. There are two main types of narcissism: grandiose narcissism and vulnerable narcissism. And sometimes narcissists vacillate between these two. A grandiose narcissist overts confidence, dominance, and a need for admiration. Vulnerable narcissists are insecure, defensiveness, and hypersensitivity to criticism. At NIB we look at disorders through the lens of Neuroscience to understand how we can help people with Neurofeedback (brain training) to live a normalised life. 

Neuroscientifc implications

Narcissism, particularly narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), has been increasingly studied in neuroscience to understand how brain structure and function correlate with narcissistic traits. Here we focus on empathy, reward processing and default mode network (DMN). 

Empathy 

Individuals with narcissistic traits often exhibit reduced oxytocin levels in the anterior insula when attempting to understand or relate to others’ emotions. Optimal levels of oxytocin is important in social bonding, emotional recognition, and empathy. Diminished oxytocin levels in the anterior insula is consistent with the empathy deficits commonly observed in narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

Reward processing

Narcissism has been associated with heightened dopaminergic activity in brain regions involved in reward processing, particularly the ventral striatum. This suggests that narcissistic individuals may be especially sensitive to external rewards such as praise, admiration, and social status, which can reinforce their self-centered and validation-seeking behaviours.

DMN

The DMN is important in behaviours such as thinking about others, thinking about one’s self, remembering the past, and envisioning the future. In other words self-referential thinking and introspection. Serotonin, a neurotransmitter and hormone, helps modulate self-referential thinking, mood, and emotional processing, all of which involve neuronal activity in the DMN.  For narcissists, this increased activity reflects a strong preoccupation with self-image, internal fantasies, and personal significance, contributing to the grandiosity seen in pathological narcissism. 

Practical guide

Understanding narcissism, whether in a personal or professional relationship, requires firm boundaries, emotional detachment, and strategic communication. Here’s a practical guide:

1. Boundaries: Establish firm boundaries. Narcissists tend to push limits to see what they can get away with. Be direct and composed and say things like, “That doesn’t work for me.” Remember to follow through with consequences if those boundaries are ignored.

2. Let go: Let go of the need for empathy or accountability. Trying to get a narcissist to understand your perspective is often futile. Instead, shift your focus toward protecting your own emotional well-being.

3. Power Struggles: Avoid engaging in power struggles. Narcissists often provoke conflict to feel in control. Stay calm, emotionally neutral, and resist the urge to react.

4. Be strategic: Minimize emotional engagement by being unresponsive and uninteresting. This is especially helpful when a narcissist craves attention or drama.

5. Keep records: Keep a “paper trail” if it is needed. In professional or legal contexts, document all important interactions and agreements. This helps safeguard you from manipulation or denial later.

6. Seek support: Narcissistic behaviour can erode your confidence and emotional health. Speak with a therapist or join a support group to regain clarity and resilience.

7. Contact: Consider limited or no contact. If the relationship is persistently toxic or abusive, reducing or cutting off contact may be the healthiest decision you can make.

What to avoid

Don’t try to change a person who displays narcissistic behaviour. It’s unlikely to work and will only drain you. Don’t take their actions personally; their behaviour is a reflection of their own issues, not your worth. 

** Mayo Clinic is a nonprofit organisation committed to clinical practice, education, and research, including mental disorders.